Pink and Black

Colored Pencil
13 x 14 1/2
Newest piece. reworking of an old idea from probably 1992-ish wow, the technique has definitely changed! Don't know why the black and pink hit me as the background color for this but once it was in my head, that was the only option. Here is a shot from before the background went down.

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Spiral (needs a better title)

Spiral
Prismacolor Pencil
35 x 22

It's done! I started this in April, with a brief hiatus to work on The Collector. This is the biggest and most complicated piece of this type that I've attempted. I figured I would be able to work on this off and on with other pieces in the meantime. But it ended up being the only thing I could work on, and it wouldn't let me put it away! So here it is. :)
The idea for it came from a dream where the figures were moving and swirling into a whirlpool. The working title that came to me for it was 'Into the Abyss'. But it ended up not being very abysmal and not as much like the dream. But I still love it. Any ideas for another title? let me have it. :)
For the record there are 955 figures in this one. If I had known the number was going to be that high I would have added 45 more!

What I'm working on... it's taking a while !

This is the work in progress. It's a monster and also the smallest figures I've ever tried to draw. Colored pencil 35 x 22. I'm now starting the people it's going to take a while. I intend on counting them as I finish them. I'm curious as to how many there are!

The Collector

I finally finished it! It proved very challenging to get a full shot of this. And I just realized I'm going to have to get the mat cut for it because it's too long for a standard size matboard so they'll have to order the big ones! Nice :( !

Oh well, The next one is going to be too big too so maybe I'll just get both at the same time!

colored pencil
9 x 35 inches

I love it, she's a little different from my usual girls. I think maybe a little more anime looking? I don't know but I like it. There's lots to look at. :)

Still drawing

No worries, I'm still working on various things.
Mostly concentrating on one piece in particular: 'The Collector' in colored pencil. I've come to the tedious part - leaves and flowers and sky. It's mostly done except for the girl, leaving her for last so the colors stay sharp. And the finest of details at the very end.
Then I'll start the next big figurative piece, I think I've finally got the color scheme sorted out spirals are tough and I've got 2 together in that one, it's easy to draw yourself into a corner. I've done it before where in 2 bends of the spiral the colors ended up the same which threw the entire thing visually out of whack... so I'm being very particular about it this time. It's too big and too much work to mess it up like that.

Watercolor

"Watercolor"
colored pencil
19 x 22
Originally this was a watercolor that had remained unfinished. I wanted to try to redraw it so that I could change some things, but nothing worked. SO I ended up drawing right over the watercolor instead. The areas I liked I just replicated in pencil exactly, like the background. But I ended up changing most of the figures, refining and trying some new color techniques. It turned out better than I thought it would.

The Results

The results. He will be getting them done any day now if he hasn't already. I think it's going to look great. That brings the number of tattoos of art I've drawn to 7. 7 this year seems to be my lucky number.
The circle one is the one he finally described to me the right way. The one I put off as much as possible. The one in color was just an extra that I kept adding to. Which he loved. I like it the best, of course because I made it up entirely and had no prerequisites. It's given me some ideas for more.

The tattoo shop loved them. Said I could draw anything I wanted for them. Now if I could only get paid for drawing the stuff. Heh, that makes me feel good though. I always knew I could draw them, it's just the 'on people -forever' part, well that and the "test" - drawing Goofy on one girls ankle, she 'had' to have it. That killed it right there, made it not fun. I think if it had been anything more original I might not have balked. (sorry Eric) Tattoos have become so generic, retail almost. It takes something amazing to really catch my eye anymore.

Unless I could do only what I wanted, (gee, I'm not a spoiled only child am I?! lol) I'll let others do the inking. There are some AMAZING tattoo artists out there, it's just all the mediocre stuff that I can't stand. I tend to pick out every little flaw. I'd personally hate to make someone live with something I didn't think was perfect.

Hopefully Wednesday I'll get to see them! I'll take pictures.
Oh, in other news I've got a date for a photography day with my friend Jim Silvas finally in 2 weeks! I have so wanted to do this for a while. It's going to be fun.

This is why....

It's a good reminder of why I'm not working in a graphics business, doing advertising, painting murals or signs. And why I never followed through on the tattooing training. I'm no good at dealing with the expectations of other people when it comes to my art. To sum it up with a quote from my daughter Emily, age 4: "I want to do what I want to do!"

I pretty much hate having projects where you're attempting something and just going on a basic idea and can't read your customers mind! And they just give you a basic idea and tell you "oh anything you do will be good" Then you come up with something and it's just not it. It's just killing the creativity flow, which is making me panicky! I don't want to freeze up at this point, things are going so well!

It's funny because one piece is exactly what I do, the figures, I could whip it out quick if I had to and yet I've been procrastinating on it all day. Is it because I know it's no challenge so I'm just not interested?
I got a hell of a lot of other unartistic stuff done, things I've been putting off for months, so it's not all bad. And yet I haven't done much the last couple days on any of the art stuff. I look at them, work on ideas for the next "my stuff" pieces while I'm waiting for details on the 3 other tats lined up. But I don't feel like that's enough.

I've been pushing myself so hard this year, and it's working. I'm feeling a little too comfortable in the procrastinating arena. That hopefully is scary enough that I'm going to work on one of my pieces tomorrow night. It's a plan, If I can just pick which one!

Meanwhile I'm going to get this figure Tat done tonight, at least a rough done on it. You'd think I'd be excited about it. I was the first day, now this. I don't get it!

Puppetstrings
colored pencil 4 1/2 x 19

This is an old piece I finally finished off. It was based on one of my poems, at one point I decided to try to do illustrations for some of my poetry. This is probably the only one I like enough to post. I found the perfect frame for it which inspired me to finish it. It's the only one that has come close to the mood I wanted to create.

My poetry tends to be pretty dark. I used to write a lot, in college especially. There was enough dramatic stuff going on in my life that it seems like the way to get the good energy out was in my artwork, and the bad energy in my poetry. Most of it is scarily "emo" this is before that was even a term! But it helped me a lot back then to get it out of my system. Some of it is slightly embarrassing now since a lot of it revolved around a couple of people: one I could never ever forget and one I wish I could, as well as others. But one of the lessons in life is to remember such mistakes! (and such tragedies) So I don't let myself! Besides in order to do that I would have to destroy what I think are some of the best things I've written.

I'm working on posting my poems up on an old blog I've revamped for this purpose, but I want it all posted before I link to it. 100 + poems means that will take a while, but I feel like it needs to be somewhere besides sitting on a shelf in my studio. I don't know, those years were just so full of emotion, drama and choices to be made. If anyone reads them and can relate, maybe take something from them then it will be worth it.

Do I still write? No. Sometimes I think about it, but basically I am just not that depressed or angry person anymore. Originally how it worked to begin with was - if you hurt me, made me angry, made me feel sad, desperate or out of control I wrote about you, or the situation. After a point someone came along and actually made me happy and I just couldn't write anymore! I tried but those poems are just not even comparable, I just can't write happy stuff!
And now, So much more has happened since then, that I think I've developed other ways of dealing with such things. Believe me I have every reason to be able to write more lately, everything is out of control, but I can't reign it in. I get ideas, the random formations that could be a poem but I just can't put my mind in that place anymore, I can't add fuel to the fire, so I just pack it back inside. At this point denial proves a more useful tool.

Wavelengths

Wavelengths
19 x 22 colored pencil
about 46 hours total, wow I've gotten slow! used to be able to draw them in half that time, then again the technique has changed a lot since then!

Now I'm in that weird spot where I'm not sure what I'm going to start next. I've got some awesome ideas coming up, but nothing is jumping out at me yet. Give me a day or 2.

New work

Everything after this will be fresh off the drafting table. Now we are certainly up to date, and the pressure will be on to keep making new stuff. Though I have to say, it hasn't been pressure at all this year. I have plenty of people and things to inspire me, especially the people. Pretty damn cool year so far. Much better than the last one!

Netted
8 1/2 x 11
inks, colored pencil and white paint marker

This one took forever. For such a small piece. The next one is bigger, I'm trying to find a happy medium size -wise.

Lessons learned

well, I've learned a new thing or two today.

I've always thought, once I have one of the "people puzzles" sketched out I could just redraw it up to a larger size and it would be the same. I've even thought I could redraw the same basic outline again and just change the colorways = new picture. I've just discovered this does not work!

I'm not talking tracing, technically I could do that with each little figure, but that tends to get out of alignment too. So I don't like it and never do it.

So here I've been - rocking out , trying to resketch the watercolor one I wanted to redo and some other pieces into a larger size. And they are totally, completely different from the originals. On one I was trying to get the scale from smaller in the center to larger on the edges. - so it looks like it pulls inwards.
One isn't as small but is way larger in general, and the other, whoa, it's going to be trippy, it's big in the middle (the exact opposite) then it kind of bends in and out around the sides, and it's all radial symmetry (-pretty much there are always a few extras floating around in there. I don't like them too perfect.) I think it's going to be awesome I think.

This one is 8 1/2 x 11. I am just going to work on top of this original ink piece and see what happens since it is proving impossible to redraw to the size I would like it.




















Green Glow
8 1/2 x 11 colored pencil.
This is the completed piece.



















This is the other sketch I'm trying to figure out what to do with, if I can redraw it.
It's gel pens and ink so I can't simply pencil on top, won't stick. That's the other lesson learned today.
8 1/2 x 11
















So now I'm thinking about all the dozens of sketches in my books, I might as well try to make them their own pieces instead of thinking of them as only sketches to be redrawn, because obviously that's a lot harder to do than I thought. Which is good in a way. It's not something that can be easily replicated, like I've always thought. I end up making something entirely different each time.

So now I've got 4 things in the works right now, I must be out of my mind!

Elicio Spiritus (calling the spirits)

This is a small watercolor for me - 11 x 14.
I originally drew this on a piece of lined paper as a doodle. I loved that sketch and tried hard to recreate it. It had something special, that I'm not sure I captured here. But I tried my best. I find it hard to work this small.

The original concept was the elements, earth, air, fire, water.
Soon the symbolism of the senses was included. As well as a few personal symbols thrown in. I think I really need to pick my brain a little more as to where all of it came from and what it means, sometimes I think these things just flow out and then you have to figure them out!

This concludes our update programming, we are now in Current mode.

Alright.... that took quite a while, now it's on to the future and all the things I'm working on currently. So this blog will probably change a little now.

I am going to use it now as much to upload works in progress as anything. As well as to vent a little from time to time. Basically it will take the place of my livejournal which I only use now to keep up on some of my favorite artists who have blogs there.
This blog does much more than that one feature wise.

So now for a little venting:
Tonight I'm exhausted, it was a very long and stressful day. I took my grandmother to the doctor it was just one of those days where everything was off center. She had left her phone on so I couldn't get a hold of her, didn't know if maybe she had canceled it because she thought Em and I were sick instead of Bill. Or if something worse had happened so I called Art to check on her and I rushed down there.
Then Bill wanted to keep Em since I was going down there so I had to get all Ems stuff and her ready last minute. Then they moved grandmas doctors office to a new building and no one told either one of us so we had to search for it. then her health just keeps winding down, she's forgetting stuff, not eating right, messing up her medicines. The doctor basically tells her every time she's too weak to have any kind of surgery on her knee and hip, which is true, but it depresses her and it would solve so much of her pain. It's a vicious circle.

I feel like I'm witnessing a car crash in slow motion and there's nothing I can do about it when it comes to my grandmother. Put that with everything else going on and it's just exhausting. It makes me angry and resentful that I am the only one left. This should not be all up to me. Why did they all have to die? Life just isn't fair, and it's not fair that my grandma should have to go through this all either. Why did she have to lose her husband and all her children and now have to go through this too? With just me? Hell, this is why religion is such bullshit. I'm starting to think sometimes that it's not such a good deal to grow old.
Quem di diligunt, adolescens moritur- whom the gods love die young.
I could think of a few others but I'm going to try to get out of this train of thought. Just had to get it out somewhere.

I'm trying to get a second wind tonight so I can get some more progress on the new piece, I actually took a nap a bit ago. Now I have 3 days to myself, though I miss having Emily with me, she's my only companion pretty much these days.And it's not that I don't have a couple days alone a week anyways, but usually I work and then am just too tired to really work on art. This week was really messed up. So now I get to just do what I want pretty much, which is draw of course! So yeah, I'm going to so sleep in tomorrow, then I'll start posting new art! Yes! That's a good thing.

Pulling Apart

This piece originated as a doodle, as many of them do, in my sketchbook. I colored it in on a whim, with markers of some sort. I've liked it enough to take a picture, but never thought much of it.










Pulling Apart
prismacolor colored pencil 8.5 x 11

Then in a unique turn of events, I was reunited with an old friend of almost 20 years ago, someone who had inspired me at the very beginning of this long artistic journey of mine and whom I had always hoped I would be able to maintain a friendship with.
He pointed out some things in this that opened my eyes to it. And so I decided to redraw it the way I thought it should be. And now it's his.

This turned out pretty good for being so small, the more I look at it the more I love it. Hopefully I can do more like it. It was fast and fun to do.

(I still haven't mastered taking a picture without catching a bit of glare. You have to fixative it to prevent bloom. I think next time I'll try taking the photos before I do that last step. So it will be shiny but it's not that shiny.)

Microcosm

Watercolor. - size 22 by 30 inches.
Big, too big really, It proved hard to get a good picture of and I'm afraid a lot of the details will be lost.

I'm thinking of putting it on my myspace page: [link] - I'll add a lot of close ups there with the detail so they can be seen, since I don't know how you would do that here.

Kind of a self portrait, kind of not It's got a lot of personal symbolism for me which is in essence the portraiture.
The blade of grass in the hand is what started the whole thing, it's from Stephen Kings concept of our universe being a single cell in a blade of grass, in an ocean of grass.
It also brings to mind Blake's eternity in a grain of sand.
Basically it has a lot of my favorite Boschian imagery, animals, the Frida Kahlo thorn necklace, the fairy wings, a bit of vampirishness, a bit of tarot, etc. I can always think of more things to add. But it will have to wait for the next one, this one is pretty full!

Hollow Muse

Watercolor sky in background, all else is prismacolor pencil.
Size 18 x 24.
Idea popped into my head and wouldn't leave!
If I were to change it, the face and the hollow part are just not quite right. The cut away water is a vague reference to Daniel Merriam that I particularly liked but ended up harder to recreate than I expected! It's flatter than I wanted but as a whole I love the image! The title came about much later and is now my favorite too. On to the next one... I'm on a roll now!

The Tower

Colored pencil.
22 x 30
This is the first branching out of my personal symbolism style that I actually finished in colored pencil, my baby so to speak.
I've been told it's a self portrait but I don't see it. maybe the eyes? whatever, that wasn't the intention. What I wanted was to incorporate as much of myself symbolically as I could, my likes, and things that signify a lot to me. And of course my references to what I think is one of the best stories ever written - The Dark Tower series by Stephen King.

I could go into horrific detail here but won't. Any questions? ask away I'll answer them.

Reflections

Reflections of Carnelian Wings
Watercolor and colored pencil. Size 16 x 20.

I have no idea what it means but it's something that keeps popping up in my sketchbooks. Totally open to interpretation!
Usually it's only the top half of the head and she has pointy ears. I've been also adding this seaweed/ flame to the bottom third of a lot of sketches as well.... Once again. no idea why.
It's odd but I really like it now it's done.






















Same piece but with a digital reflection added via imageplay a kind of cool but glitchy art program. I really like this effect.

Secrets Amid The Mushrooms

Watercolor 18 x 24

This took forever!!! But I love it. There are tons of little tiny details in this one, I got out the itty bitty brushes for it and while it is technically done I may find myself adding to it from time to time as I think of more things! But for now it's done. On to the next one.

This was originally started for a competition. - Lucia's Princess with a Secret Competition

As for the mermaid princess I'm not sure what HER secret is, obviously she enjoys hearing them but she's not telling me anything so she's a pretty good confidante!

more "old school style"

Heart number 1
watercolor with ink outline. 5" x 7". This is kind of old and is about the smallest I've attempted. I usually work at least 11" x 17" and lately 22" x 30".
I have a hard time working small I always want more detail than I can fit in a small space. and I admire those who can work small. Maybe that's why I haven't finished much in the way of computer graphics, I need a big screen computer!!





















Spiral
this is, of course, colored pencil 12" x 14"
This is a different version of the next one down, "Family"
I was just playing with the background, color combinations, techniques etc. It's alright but off balance. I like the figures in the corners with the "spots" something different, but I like them.





















Family
18 x 24
This is a watercolor I painted for my friends Darren and Rhonda when they got married in June 2001.
The photograph isn't that great but it's the only one that I have of it. Actually the colors are a lot more blue tones but because of the darkness of the photo this is how it turned out. Not bad. but I'd like to get another picture of it someday. I may just have to make another version, that's what I like about these no two are ever the same.

Powerhungry

This is pretty much my favorite of this style that I do. This particular piece has much significance to me.

The idea behind this is that the boxed figures have a power, a vitality that the unboxed figures don't. The colors of the outside figures change as they absorb and destroy the boxed figures. It definitely has a cannibalistic mood to it. I don't think it feels dark until you actually look and see what the figures are doing. I put every emotion I was feeling at the time into this second version.

This is one picture I feel has been perfectly "solved".
I call it solving because these pictures in what I call my old style. are very much like puzzles, in that I have to get the colors I want but they can't blend with the background plus they have to have an emotional intensity as well. It can get very complicated and I've messed up more than one! This piece has something I hope desperately I can continue to achieve.














Powerhungry original pastel version 22 x 30 (shown below)
This was the first draft of the drawing.
Mixed media: Colored pencil and paint marker for the outlines
The whole surface was sanded down to get the mottled appearance.
I can't really recall the mood I was in when I came up with the original sketch but it wasn't a good one.

I ended up not liking the thickness of line and the color scheme when I was done with it, so it got stashed away. Then one night Chad and Darren came over for some reason. Bill and Chad were talking business, Darren (a former artist himself) and I ended up talking about art. He was great at pushing me to keep at it: "persevere, keep at it, what do you have to lose? Don't procrastinate. Work past the fear." That sort of thing.
So I was showing him a stack of stuff, I'd been looking through just out of frustration at not knowing what to do with any of it and he pulled this one out and said "This would be F-n awesome, what's wrong with you! You have to work on this one. Persevere, you have so much talent don't waste it."

So I started the second version soon after because I couldn't not look at this one and think of that talk.....A year later one of my favorite people: Darren Farwell was dying of skin cancer. he was 32 and it was way too soon.

It all happened so fast and yet once we knew it was going to happen it was agonizing for me. He was the first person I've known (besides my grandparents) who was going to be taken from us and there wasn't one damn thing you could do about it, I just could not deal with that. Not that it's ever easy.

Everyone else in my life had been taken suddenly with no preparation and no idea it would ever happen how it did. Boom, you're hit with it- deal. Shut down, fall apart, start over. This I didn't know how to handle, I remember crying almost every day the last few weeks.

It's not like we were best friends or anything really, just people with an extremely strong common interest and some wonderful conversations.
This picture was the result of our talks. Of his belief that I could do it.

In Memory of Darren. Wear sunscreen.
We love you and miss you... (I am persevering!)
June 25th 1969 - september 14th 2001

DLF Foundation for skin cancer awareness!
http://www.dlffoundation.com/pages/darren.htm
http://www.uvskinz.com/articles.aspx

Faery Thoughts

Well, I'm still alive, sick as a dog, about to lose a lung from coughing myself crazy, you can live with only one right?
At least it doesn't hurt, no tonsilitis, sore throat, I HATE that. It's just f-'n annoying! And wearing me down. I haven't been sick in a long time, I usually take pretty good care of myself, pretty run ragged the last 9 months or so, so I knew this was coming.

Well, I at least have to post this, then I can veg out tonight and try to go to work in the morning.


Faery Thoughts
Colored pencil 10 x 17

I've had a running fascination for faerys for a long time, I'm kind of moving out of it at the moment though, there's just so many artists in the market now, that it's kind of ruining it, not much originality anymore. It takes a rare artist to catch my eye now in this genre. I have ideas of what I'd do, and they're nothing like how this turned out. So this is the only one I've attempted except for Microcosm (coming up soon).




















Dive Deep
Colored Pencil
About 11 x 17.
This is one of my favorite newer pieces. Took a long time to get the background figured out, but once I did it just flew into or should I say swam into shape! I really like how this one turned out, I havent' found a frame for it yet. I have probably a hundred (I'm serious! ex- professional framer here!) and none of them fit, I'd hate to have to take it to a frame shop! ;) But I will have it on the wall someday!

Contemplation
It started out as a colored pencil drawing, then I started playing with it in photoshop.
Unfortunately as a working image it got too big memory-wise to finish it on that computer! It wouldn't let me work on it, so I transferred it to the mac via email and was able to make it smaller but I haven't worked on it since.
Oh well, I think it turned out kind of neat on it's own and maybe someday I'll finish the actual drawing.... though it will look nothing like this!



















Spiral Girl
It's one of very few acrylic paintings I've done. 16 x 20 One of the few that have turned out well, don't know why, I've just never had too much luck with painting on canvas. I start them and never finish. Even this one I don't think is finished.
no model, all out of my head, one of my weirder moods I guess!
The hands on both of these are decidedly messed up! Oh well, you learn by doing.






















Just an experiment with a noise filter in photoshop, kind of sparkly, I like it!

Figures and Perspective

Reveries
colored pencil. 11 x 14.
This is a companion piece sort of to 'falling out of a dream'.
They were made at the same time anyway. I was playing with color, trying to see what effects I could get with the solid application I usually do. Now that I'm finally starting to break out of that solidity, I'm starting to see more of the effects I want. I think the whole "no paper showing" technique is a result of the puzzle pieces where it works really well to layer colors that way. I've since discovered that a lighter touch is necessary for the symbolistic pieces where a more realistic effect is what I want. The HARD part is getting my hand to agree to not overwork it!





















Falling out of a dream
Colored pencil 11 x 14. 2004

Just working on shading, perspective, color and composition. I like the background with the ironwork on this one. The face needs work, but oh well.

Finally catching up

We're getting closer to the present time, a few more posts maybe, then the fun will start as I am going to try very hard this year to produce more. I have lots of things in the works right now. And lots of inspiration. Plus I just got a new monitor. Gee the internet looks so much different - the way it's supposed to! Instead of on an old outdated gateway monitor!

Alright, here are a couple of pictures that defy categorization.



Poppy Girl
Ink, and metallic leaf pen
This was the design for a poetry book. It was based on a piece of art nouveau clip art that I liked the design of but I ended up changing almost everything in the end, the eyes, the flower, mouth etc. one of my favorite ink pieces. I love Dover clip art books, get unlimited inspiration from them.


















This is colored pencil on the front of a manilla envelope I made for my friend Darren who died in 2001 of cancer. He was only 32 and was a great friend who always did his best to push and inspire me to keep drawing and doing art no matter what. He is very much missed.

He loved tattoos and was getting some beautiful sleeves done of water and fish etc at the time, hence the inspiration.The sad thing is he never saw this.

(This description was given by a viewer on DA, I like it, I never see such things myself, but this very aptly describes it!)
This one is great too. Strong color, bold delineations, no nonsense composition. Just by the title, and not knowing it is actually drawn on an envelope, the title gives it a mysteriousness that is bolstered by the treacherous water (as a symbol of the subconscience) with the fish caught half above and half below the surface (like most people's motivations for behavior).

















This was basically just a doodle drawn on some 8 x 10 green scrap matboard, with gel pens and a little bit of white and blue paint marker for the highlights. I liked gel pens a lot, they seem to have fallen out of fashion, so I'm hoarding the ones I have now.! (at least 60!)

More.....

More assorted drawings.

This was a doodle that ended up pretty cool to me. I am not a ink artist and crosshatching has never been my forte. But I still have a huge collection of pens, gel markers, paint markers, you name it!
I used one of those 4 color ballpoint pens, the ones that click, in the neon colors to do this.
Kind of interesting to do.

















Peach Portrait.
Watercolor
This is the only piece I have every sold outright. This is the only photograph I have of it. It was at the annual Gallo arts show and someone bought it for $250.00! I never did meet the person who bought it, it was a big shock to go pick up all my works that were there and to get a check instead.


















Just a simple sketch with watercolor pencils.





















Anissa - portrait
pencil 16 x 20
Haven't worked like this in pencil in a while. Usually everything is full on watercolor or prismas. Made this for Anissa (I ended up with it back for safekeeping after her house burned up!) But I guess it's kind of weird to have a portrait of yourself hanging in your own house these days too. Didn't think about that till after I gave it to her.